Manvice Vol. 4

When your wife refers to being pregnant as "those nine months of nausea," don't ever think that enough time has passed for you share your thoughts on the topic--especially if you think the nausea was sometimes all in her head.

Manvice Vol. 3

Never under any circumstance, ask your wife if she's going to support Movember next year.

Whether you are asking if she'll grow a mustache or not, you are asking if she'll grow a mustache.

Manvice Vol. 2

Manlyish Advice for Manlyish Men

Always back into a shower stall when the water is running. Regardless of whether you are going to receive third degree burns or frostbite from the water, it is better if those injuries happen to your back than to your front.

trust me on this one

Franklyn Finkelstein Advice Guru

I don't usually give out a lot of advice. But I always feel like I have a lot to say. I've been wondering lately if I'm cheating the world by holding back. So I've decided to begin giving advice for men. Maybe there will be the occasional bit for the ladies, but mostly this is advice for dudes from a dude.

Here goes:

Never, ever, say to a lady, let's say your wife or significant other, "I wish I could grow a mustache as good as you." You may mean this to be a knock against yourself, implying that your manhood is diminished because you lack the ability to grow even a basic level of facial hair held by many 17 year old males.

She will think you're calling her a beast.

This is not a fight you want to have. She will never see your point.

I've found it best to never make reference ever to a lady's facial hair.

A happier marriage you will have if you take my advice.

Medal Hopefuls

Why are only some Olympic athletes considered medal hopefuls?

Doesn't ever athlete hope to win a medal regardless of how unrealistic those hopes may be?

I hope to win a medal one day. I have that hope even though I have no skill at any Olympic event. I fall asleep at night dreaming of winning a gold medal, and the closest I ever come to an Olympic games is the postie olympics.

Coolers

I have a cooler made by Thermos.

I never use it.

I don't know if I'm supposed to put hot thinks or cold things in there. I'm always worried that if I put in cold things they will get heated up and go bad.

Rejected Guitar Hero Imitations

If anyone is thinking of making an interactive video game like guitar hero, but nothing like guitar hero, here some ideas you should stay away from:

Sitar Hero
Clarinet Hero
Tambourine Hero
Diaper Change Hero
Table Saw Hero


However, I think that Barista Hero could be the best selling game of all time.